My training as a somatic sex educator and sexological bodyworker is physical body based coaching, but most of what makes sex either pleasurable or uncomfortable is psychological. The body tells the mind what’s wrong, but often the mind and spirit will make the body hurt or dysfunctional to get it’s attention. A Sacred Intimate connects the spirit, soul, male/female energy, often through tantra practices. I don’t want to scare away the rational thinking, agnostic men who work in the right-brained field of technology or science (they actually make up the majority of my clientele.) Often what they’re seeking isn’t within the body through physical sex, it’s connection and intimacy they lack. One of the exercises we do at the beginning a Playshop is opening up our personal space to another through eye gazing. Connecting only through the eyes, slowing down, being present and vulnerable is often harder for people than the act of sex. I learned an intimacy workshop at the Human Awareness Institute, The word 'intimacy' can be broken down as “In-To-Me-You-See”. You can certainly have sex without intimacy, just like you can scarf down food from a drive-through when you're starving and in a hurry. It can be tasty, but learning how to appreciate the smells, textures, how the meal has been made, how it's served, the ambiance of the restaurant, the chef's attention to detail and even how to cook- takes time.
For many people, connecting on this level can make them more anxious than having sex with a random stranger. Intimacy is often so disconnected from a sex physical act, it’s like going through the motions of eating but never tasting the food. My work as a couple's intimacy coach is to re-connect your spirit to your mind and body so you can reconnect with each other. Often what comes up in sacred intimacy excercises is sexual shame, trauma or negative thoughts that block pleasure and connection. Sacred intimacy is about slowing down and being intentional. It’s about quieting your mind and being in erotic embodiment. It’s an ancient practice, but it’s a radical way to be in our modern internet age of porn on demand.
Tags: sacred intimate, sacred intimacy, sexual healers, intimacy coaching, sexological bodywork, somatic sex educator, chakras, joy of sex, sexual healing