How is a sex therapist different from a sex and relationship coach?
A board licensed sex or marriage therapist uses only talk therapy to work with their clients. In somatic sex coaching, we also encourage talking, but the next steps learning through experiential and sensate (touch) focused exercises.
So does that mean I will be taking my clothes off during our session?
No, our session time is strictly clothes-on.
What’s the difference between tantra, erotic massage, sexological bodywork?
Sexological bodywork is hands-on sex education for conscience learning and experience. The practice incorporates breath techniques that are similar to tantric teachings to raise sexual energy and cultivate erotic embodiment. Being present and embodied helps you to experience pleasure and let go of distracting thoughts or fantasies that get in the way; it’s like giving you a road map to understand your own body, turn-on and what brings you the most pleasure. I am a certified sexological bodyworker through the state of California to practice somatic sex education, teach and give coaching feedback. I do not give medical advice but I can refer you to licensed therapists and other professionals. I am currently only working with people through video, phone and email sessions at this time.
What is Surrogate Partner Therapy?
Surrogate partner therapy (or sex surrogates.) The client, therapist and surrogate partner work as a team to help the client practice and build skills around physical and emotional intimacy. The surrogate partner guides the client on how to intimately connect with a partner, learn to communicate their feelings and desires, listen to what their partners want and get more comfortable and relaxed in each session. The type of people who seek out surrogate partners may have a poor body image, low sexual confidence, physical or mental disability, a medical condition that makes sex difficult, past sexual trauma, lack of experience (adult virgins), social anxiety and shame around sex. The Sessions, a movie about the relationship between a surrogate partner and a quadriplegic client helped the public understand the therapeutic nature of sexual practice on a professional level.
If you’re a therapist or medical professional seeking referrals for surrogate partners in your area, the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA) is a good resource. If you’re looking for a sex-positive, kink-aware therapist in your area, check this resource.
Who are your students?
I really enjoy working with couples and watching their relationship grow stronger with each session. I can demonstrate on one partner or both and then have them practice it together with real time feedback. I think it’s one the most effective forms of marriage counseling, and I’ve seen many couples who’ve been together for over 20 years re-connect and awaken their sex life. I specialize working with with women and female-identified, nonbinary, 'gender queer' and LGBTQ folk.
Is there anything I’m going to do that I don’t want to do?
No, you are always at choice. My work is trauma-informed, meaning that I don’t push people farther than their comfort zone. I’m respectful of your boundaries and I use a collaborative approach to transformation. I will coach you on slowing down and staying present throughout the session.
What if I feel uncomfortable or embarrassed?
You never have to do anything you don’t want to you, you are always at choice. I go over consent and boundaries at the beginning of each session, but I also encourage people to push their edges and talk about their fears if there is a curiosity or desire to explore something new.
What are some of your boundaries?
I do not date my clients or have relations outside of our sessions. I will always give you my candid feedback during our session, and I expect you to be honest with me, ask for what you want and practice consent.
I’m a very private person and require discretion. Do you do confidentiality agreements?
I understand your need for privacy. The work we do stays in the space we’ve created together including any information you’ve shared with me. All of your information is handled with care (I’m the only one who answers my emails and calls.) I will always respect your privacy and I won’t disclose any information about you, including the fact that we are working together. I’m also open to working in tandem with your therapist or marriage counselor if you decide to do sessions on a weekly basis.
The purpose of our work together
To allow the awareness and integration of everything that is unconscious: conditioning, associations, fears, desires and other filters that have been keeping you from living in this present moment and expressing your natural state of intimacy. Connecting your erotic energy with your sense of creativity and vitality in life. To arrive at a simple and pure awareness of who you are your essential self, in your body, in your sexuality, in your senses, in this moment. To live in the moment, to love and be loveable, in your ever-expanding evolution.